“So what do you do?” How many times have you been asked that question? Pretty much every time you meet someone new right? Our culture loves to ask this question! We find out what someone does, judge them on our perception of that job, and ultimately decide their value.

For example, you meet someone in their late 20’s and they tell you they work as a cashier in a retail store. What’s our first thought? “Man, they should really be further along in their career by now.” We may even probe to understand why – are they still in school? Temporary gig? We have certain expectations when it comes to someone’s career in correlation with their age. For instance, if that same person told you instead they were a senior manager at a global company – your perception would immediately be “wow – they are so young to be doing so much!”

And because we have these thoughts about others, we of course have them about ourselves too. And most often, we are even more harsh with ourselves. We hold ourselves up to the most successful people we know and shame ourselves when we don’t match up. Not matter how much we’ve done, how hard we’ve worked, we’re always going to feel like there should be more. We should be more.

But where you work, what you do for work, is only a small piece of who you are.

How you show up, how you treat the people around you, how hard you work, how you react when things go wrong – those are the things that will define you. Not where you sit for your 8 to 5 gig.

But it isn’t an easy mind shift. I’m 31 and I still don’t think I have my career figured out. I haven’t found the perfect job. I’m still trying to figure out what I want. Now my husband on the other hand knows. He went to school to become a software engineer and he has done it every day since. He loves what he does. Sure not everyday is perfect but he knows software engineering will be his career – in some shape or form. Seeing his passion day in and day out can be really hard for me. I get jealous of his certainty and frustrated with my own ability to do the same. In those moments I become so small and feel like I’m going nowhere with my life.

When I let my career define me, I forget everything else about myself. I don’t think about how I show up as a person to those around me. I don’t think about the accomplishments I have made. When I let my career define me, I reduce who I am to one single thing that actually says very little about who I am as a person.

That’s when I have to remember that just because I don’t have it figured out now, doesn’t mean I won’t figure it out tomorrow. And just because I haven’t had the perfect career, it doesn’t mean I’m of any less value. I’ve worked hard at all the jobs I’ve had and I’m proud of my accomplishments. And when I am hard on myself for being not where I wanted at my age, I remember that careers aren’t limited by age.

Did you know:

• Jeff Bezos didn’t launch Amazon until he was 31.
• Julia Child didn’t write her first cookbook until she was 50.
• Vera Wang didn’t enter the fashion industry until she was 40.
• Samuel L Jackson didn’t get his big acting break until he was 41.
• Stan Lee didn’t create his first comic until he was 39.
• Martha Stewart didn’t publish her first book until she was 41.

If any of these people let their previous careers define them, they would have given up long before they accomplished what they did. You are so much more than your job. But on the days it is hard to remember, don’t forget that your age in no way limits you.