When I finally committed to starting my blog, I was hesitant to tell people. I was so worried what they would think. Was it stupid? Silly? What business did I have starting a blog? I remember when I finally told a close friend that I was thinking of starting one (I already had the webpage built), her only response was “What the hell took you so long?“

We laughed – I felt relieved and the day moved on. But that moment stuck with me. What had taken me so long? I’ve loved and followed other life and style bloggers for years. I’m always out looking for the best deal and finding great pieces for my friends and family. I’ve been thinking like a blogger for years – this is how I would style it, this is what I would tell people about it, etc – but I never did it. Why not?

Well, the answer was pretty obvious. Fear of failure? Definitely – but not just that. It was feeling like a fraud or more-so, fear of being exposed as one. That feeling that as soon as I put myself out there everyone would realize I had no idea what I was talking about. Why me? What could I possibly have to offer? There are so many other talented bloggers out there – people would see right through me! I had only been kidding myself about knowing anything about fashion, style, blogging, instagram, etc. I didn’t have a voice, an opinion, or a style that would be worth following. Even though my personal style and sharing it with others is something I am desperately passionate about, I felt like starting this blog would be nothing short of fraudulent. And that my friends, is imposter syndrome.

Imposter syndrome is “a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.” It’s the idea that even if you are good at something – you feel like you are just faking it and eventually everyone will realize the truth. While it can be pervasive at work – it can also affect your personal relationships too. (Ever doubted you were a good friend, or girlfriend, or wife even though you know you’re out there trying your best?)

I personally really struggle with imposter syndrome at work. Not even just at my current job – but at most of them really. And one of the worst parts of imposter syndrome is any bump in the road, setback, or failure just goes to confirm what you were already thinking. Recently I interviewed for a job that I truly badly wanted. When I didn’t get it – I was crushed. But then, all the other thoughts set in. Of course I didn’t get the job – I’m not even good enough at my current job and they’ve finally caught on. Instead of seeing it for what is was – there are tons of qualified people out there and I will find my own path forward – I took it to confirm all the negative thoughts I had about myself. I spent so much time worrying about being good at my job, I wasn’t being as good as I could have at my job.

I also struggle with it socially. Some of the friendships I’ve had for years, I still feel like I’m not quite the friend I could be. I forgot to text her back – she’s going to realize I’m not actually a good friend. I wasn’t a good listener – is she going to continue to confide in me or just realize she has other better friends. It always feels like I’m not going to measure up to the friend I want to be and sooner or later, my friends will realize that.

And that’s how the cycle goes. The more time you spend worrying about being caught not being good enough, the less time you actually spend realizing you are good enough. Because you are.

You are good enough.

Exactly as you are. You are not an imposter. You have earned the good things in your life and you deserve to have the success you’ve had. Sure, maybe you had a little luck. But aren’t you deserving of a little luck now and then? Aren’t we all?

So how do you move past imposter syndrome? How do you interview for that next job? Start that blog? Move to that new city? Start that new career? Earlier I said why me and now I’m saying why not me? Why couldn’t I have a successful blog? Why couldn’t I be fabulous at that new job? Why couldn’t I be a fabulous friend? You are not a fraud. You deserve to go after all the things you want. You have earned your place and you are good enough.

I’ll be honest – I still struggle with this. I’m not perfect. There are still days I doubt myself. But just because I’m not the most successful employee ever in history, it doesn’t mean I’m bad at my job. Just because I sent a text a day late, it doesn’t mean I’m a terrible friend. And just because I don’t get as many likes on a photo as someone else, it doesn’t mean I’m a fraud. And I’m not pretending like I have some wildly successful blog here – but I started it. And that feels like success to me. I’m not going to let my fear make me doubt myself or any of my accomplishments. And neither should you! You have so much to offer – don’t let your fear hold you back. Show up every day, exactly as you are, and give the world all you have to offer. There is nothing fraudulent about that.

Do you struggle with imposter syndrome?

How do you keep it from holding you back?